All I want for Christmas is a ridiculously overpriced pair of shoes.

Seriously. Is $2,000 too much to ask for the perfect boot???  The things I'd be willing to do for these shoes. OH MAN. (Alexander McQueen, the man, to be specific)  These are literally the PERFECT shoe.  Better than a man, any day.  Unless that man is very wealthy and can buy me these shoes, because I certainly could never afford them.

10 Reasons Why Shoes Are Better Than Men

• They come in pairs
• We pick their size
• They prefer to be fixed
• They always compliment us
• They wait right where we left them
• They’re returnable
• They don’t mind being cleaned up
• They like it when we “step on them”
• They always know how to make us feel better
• They don’t get jealous if we’ve had multiple shoe experiences

*** excerpt from the book Never Trust a Man in Alligator Loafer by Donna Sozio

The perfect tattoo

So it's not like I want a(nother) tattoo.  However, tonight, the WI BFF and I had a conversation that went something like this:

Top Chef in the background... "You love pork so much, you even have a tattoo of a pig!"

Me:  I want to get a tattoo of bacon sizzling.  Like right here... (points to inner thigh)
WIBFF: No you don't.  I wouldn't let you.
Me:  Yeah, I do!  And then I go on a rant about having sex and having the bacon sizzle on my legs, and from there it got weird.

So nonetheless, I'm going to get a tattoo of bacon on one of three places.  Either my inner thigh, the back of my thighs, or the bottom of my feet.  Either way, that shit be sizzlin!  And I will do this just to spite her.

Teen Angst isn't a good color on anyone.

Ahhh teen angst. In the form of vampire/werewolf/sci-fi nerdity. I am not ashamed to admit that I'm a 25 year old who has seen the Twilight and New Moon movies.

I maybe should be a little ashamed to admit that I was at the midnight opening for both? And loved it? And judged the shit out of all the 14 year olds there while WI BFF, BFF, and BFF's lil sis played suck, chuck, or fuck* while they warned me to watch my language?

Alas, I am not ashamed. I, however, haven't felt so much palpable angst in one room since the turn of the century. Since I was in high school at the turn of this century. It was not a good feeling. Ick, teen angst.

*Apparently my friends and I made up the title to this game. I think there is another name for it somewhere. Basically, pick 3 people and choose who you would marry (suck), have a one night stand with (fuck), and throw off a bridge (chuck). My friends and I are die hard romantics.