(Cue National Lampoon's Vacation music)
("Holiday Road" in case your an idiot and have no sense of human decency, having never seen this gem of culture)
I get to go on a vacation! An honest to goodness vacation! Leaving on Friday, going to Florida for a wedding. Stops include Sarasota (wedding and 4 star hotel that cost more than the entire rest of the trip combined), Clearwater (beaches, bitches, and Bacardi), and Disneyworld (fuckin Mickey Mouse!)!
I cannot wait. I'll send postcards. Send a self-addressed, stamped postcard to:
This vacation is going to look really bad on my credit report
c/o Friends that have no social tact when planning destination weddings
19990 Debt Way
Overdraft, OH (the sound I make when I see the bill) 666-8008 (haha, boob)
I could use a sugar daddy right about now. But until I get back and have to face that reality, I am going to enjoy myself and my new fake-bake tan.*
*Please note - fake baking was necessary pre-Florida. Trying to avoid 3rd degree burns and heatstroke is tough on us Anglo-Americans.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Got any English in you?
Want some?
Bad decisions afloat. But they seemed so good at the time. Let's just say a certain "Staten Island" girl may or may not have rekindled a flame with an Englishman. Or boy. He finally turned 21, so I guess he's not a boy anymore. Note to self: stop calling him kiddo. It's officially inappropriate.
Let's talk bad decisions. What about such a bad decision makes it seem so good at the time? Assessing the facts, it almost always includes:
1. Alcohol
2. Karaoke
3. Accents
4. Slimy bar patrons that must be shooed away by a knight in shining armor
5. Friends who would rather see you make a bad decision than encourage you not to
6. Having to work the next day
7. Alcohol
8. Former Flames
9. Alcohol
10. Living up to your standards of being a cougar. Or a puma, or maybe even a little tiny kitten, but nonetheless too old for this quest.
What does a bad decision look like to you?
Bad decisions afloat. But they seemed so good at the time. Let's just say a certain "Staten Island" girl may or may not have rekindled a flame with an Englishman. Or boy. He finally turned 21, so I guess he's not a boy anymore. Note to self: stop calling him kiddo. It's officially inappropriate.
Let's talk bad decisions. What about such a bad decision makes it seem so good at the time? Assessing the facts, it almost always includes:
1. Alcohol
2. Karaoke
3. Accents
4. Slimy bar patrons that must be shooed away by a knight in shining armor
5. Friends who would rather see you make a bad decision than encourage you not to
6. Having to work the next day
7. Alcohol
8. Former Flames
9. Alcohol
10. Living up to your standards of being a cougar. Or a puma, or maybe even a little tiny kitten, but nonetheless too old for this quest.
What does a bad decision look like to you?
What. A. Jackass.
Kanye, Kanye, Kanye.
Such a jackass.
No words to describe.
However, I think there are a few social media outlets that are doing a great job of continuing to make him realize how fucking dumb and rude he is. For example:
http://kanyelicio.us/
And the facebook quiz "Where will Kanye interrupt you?" http://apps.facebook.com/wherewillkanlknbjh/quiz/questions
Genius, social media. Genius.
Such a jackass.
No words to describe.
However, I think there are a few social media outlets that are doing a great job of continuing to make him realize how fucking dumb and rude he is. For example:
http://kanyelicio.us/
And the facebook quiz "Where will Kanye interrupt you?" http://apps.facebook.com/wherewillkanlknbjh/quiz/questions
Genius, social media. Genius.
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