Cyber Stalking 101: How to take it too far

Recently saw an e-mail with some funny observations. One specifically tripped my trigger:
"Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!"

Seriously, don't mind if I DO! I find facebook stalking to be one of the most therapeutic exercises known. I have a very specific way that I do it though. Here's a step by step process of just how it goes down.
How to stalk your facebook "Friends":
1. Sign into facebook.
2. Check out your newsfeed, but skip by all the unattractive people you're friends with and go straight to looking for the people you've slept with. If they don't show up on your newsfeed, search for them and check out everything they've been doing (timestamps = BONUS!) in the 12 hours you haven't looked at their profile.
3. Be sure to also click on people's profiles whom have written on walls, commented, become friends with those because you need to know who your elementary school boyfriend's been talking to. It's your right.
4. Look through photos. Not just the photos they're tagged of, but also be sure to look through the photo albums their friends have tagged them in. What if they removed themselves from being tagged in a photo? What if you recognize a trend amongst visited establishments and conveniently show up every night?
5. Be sure to check out your own profile often. People who comment, write on walls, or "like" your shit are doing the same thing as you. Don't be that person! Do it discreetly! Nobody likes a "thumbs up" whore, because then it loses all meaning.
6. Never sign out. Constantly refresh your home page each time you go near your computer. I reccommend Mozilla Firefox's tabbing system (especially at work) so you can actually do other things while facebook stalking. A few minutes here, a few minutes there, and you can also accomplish your job! Plus, if a coworker comes over to your cube while you're in deep stalker mode, you can easily switch a tab without losing your place in your stalking by having to close the window.

Stalk on.