Levels of Facebook Friendship

Well, it has certainly been a long time since I've posted.  Apologies, whatever.  Life gets busy, and then you realize your stress could be alleviated by making snide commentary on a sort of kind of anonymous blog.  So here's where we're at.  Jumping right in.
Another de-friend on Facebook!  What did I do to deserve this!?
I know, I "should" be a "grown up" and think, "wow, this person must be going through a tough time in life that they no longer want me to know anything about them." But instead, I think, "what the hell?  This girl I was "BFF" with, and truly inseparable from age 13-19 decided I'm no longer important enough to be considered a Facebook friend?  The most surface level of friendship that ever existed?
So, here are the levels of friendship that exist in Facebook:
1. I wouldn't recognize you on the street, walking in the crosswalk with you.  Maybe we had one 300-person lecture together in college.
2.  I might recognize you in a coffee shop, but not be able to place where I know you from.  It will probably eat at me for a few days until I remember your name, creep on you on Facebook, and find that we're actually Facebook friends.  Who knew?
3.  We used to be good friends at some point in our lives.  High school, college, family, whatever.  It's nice to see your facebook updates every once and awhile to remember you exist.
4.  We are acquaintances and I sometimes genuinely care about what's going on in your life.  I comment, like or post in your general direction.
(Here is where we move beyond Facebook)
5.  I would email you if a major event (baby, marriage, death) occurred in my life.  I will definitely post happy birthday on your facebook, and you might even get a phone call.
6.  Your birthday is on my calendar. I would actually call you if those things happened in my life.  You'd probably get invited to the baby shower, wedding, or funeral.
7.  You'd be heavily involved in the baby shower (godmother), wedding (wedding party), or funeral (reader or pallbearer). I would expect you to cry actual tears at all of these.

So the girl in question is somewhere between 4 and 6.  Her birthday was on my calendar, which is how I noticed she defriended me.  Because it's today.  She almost got a facebook post. What did I do to deserve it? Alas, I also was defriended by a Bestie's ex.  But she's a C yoU Next Tuesday, so that's fine. I've known her since we were 5, so I can say that.

So instead of being a grown up, I think next time I'm in my hometown and see these lovely ladies, I'm going to be sure to be just liquored up enough to make it awkward by mentioning it. Can't wait.

Summer Lovin.

For the first time in 5 years, I don't have a single work related event this summer (at the NPM).  I feel so FREE!  A typical summer has previously consisted of normal 9-5 workdays and at least 2 meetings in the evening a week, wherein I wouldn't get home until 10 pm.  NOT THIS SUMMER!  No siree!  So, here is a list of things I intend to do this summer, in no particular order:
- Science Museum of Minnesota
- Happy Hour
- Summerfest
- State Fair
- Happy Hour
- a different Pinterest project each week
- Saints game
- Joke Joint open mic
- camping
- fix my resume
- Happy Hour
- get a new job
- Happy Hour

Also, I'm officially late 20's, as of yesterday.  Time to re-evaluate the work schedule in which I have not been able to really enjoy these things for the last 5 years.

Facebook is the best-ish.

I've been teetering close to having 1,000 facebook friends for a few months now.  I'm not sure how I feel about this milestone (whore or Miss Popular?  The age old high school dilemma), but I have a difficult time removing people as friends.  I also don't like to request people as friends unless we are actual friends (this term is subjective and may change on a daily basis.  I consider Clay Matthews and I actual friends).
However, I've noticed here and there some "de-friending" going on with me, and I won't say it doesn't make me wonder.  What did I do to be "de-friended"?  Did I post too often?  Were my rambling liberal views too much?  I am glad it hasn't happened in the hundreds, or I might be more concerned, lest I actually care.

However, 2 specific instances have left me wondering.  For one, a girl I was actual friends with in high school has defriended and re-requested me at least 3 times.  I didn't notice at first, and just had the thought, "oh, I thought we already were friends." accept.  "Oh, maybe when you get married you have to re-request everyone with your new name." accept.  NAY, now I am smarter and realized she must have commitment issues.  She has re-requested me 3 months ago, and is currently in facebook purgatory, as I just don't feel that I need to click accept quite yet.
The second instance is much less interesting, but is a matter of principle.  I noticed this guy had done some serious cleansing of his friends, so I truly wasn't offended that I didn't make the cut of his remaining 70 friends.  But the reality of it is - I think there should be precedence on facebook that if I there was ever genital to mouth contact between me and you in high school, the least you should do is let me be your facebook friend so I can creep on you anytime I want.  It's a matter of principle.

This is why I can never be an adult.

You are smack dab in the middle of my shame spiral, as outlined by Allie, the most hilarious blogger of all time.

Read her hilarity here.
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/06/this-is-why-ill-never-be-adult.html

Story of my life.  Now that the BFF has left the country (for all intents and purposes) for the next 5 months, maybe I will be able to hop back on the blogosphere bandwagon and continue to regale all 2 readers (you know who you are) with tales of woe.

What is it about Craigslist...

Craigslist: not just the place to find friends and get murdered.  Seriously, what is it about Craigslist that makes you all of the following:
- Insanely interested in other people's personal lives.  I.E. reading missed connections and responding to ones you KNOW re not for you?  Thank God for those who do this, since I read them for sheer entertainment value.
- Creepy.
- A hoarder.  Thanks much, free section.  Yes, I do need a 300 lb broken microwave.  And 126 empty wine bottles.
- A total lunatic.  Have you ever read the rants and raves?  YIKES!
- A fucking poet.  Stop it, I am not interested in your dramatic reading of your feelings.  Tell me about the Caribou employee you have your eye on instead.

But seriously, thanks to Craigslist,. I know can fill my time with missed connections and rants and raves ALL DAY because of the droid app - YAY!!!!

Accepting suggestions for things for my friends and I to do to tempt fate, serial killers, and would be molesters as ways to stay entertained!

I might as well be preggo.

I cannot stop thinking about eating pickles.  I love pickles, but really the obsession is beyond this love.  My personal favorite is the bread and butter variety, but it turns out they're really bad for you, so I generally stick to dill.
Pickles I've obsessed about this summer:
- Giant, whole pickles.  Had no less than 14 this summer.
- Crispy pickle spears.  Also available in....
- Pickle Dog form.  Delish pickle spear wrapped in pastrami and cream cheese.
- Deep fried pickle chips.  Oh. My God.
- Baby Gherkin's.  Perfect snack.

I need to get laid, no one should ever spend this much time obsessing over pickles.

Relax, we all survived.

See, no one died at the Craigslist casting call for friends.  We did have one creeper who showed up.  Note the red shirt.

So you see, we all survived.  And all in all, it was an amazing way to waste approximately 3 weeks of my life.  Got hilarious e-mails and lots of kudos on a funny CL posting, so maybe I need to write a Lifetime movie about this experience.