Facebook is the best-ish.

I've been teetering close to having 1,000 facebook friends for a few months now.  I'm not sure how I feel about this milestone (whore or Miss Popular?  The age old high school dilemma), but I have a difficult time removing people as friends.  I also don't like to request people as friends unless we are actual friends (this term is subjective and may change on a daily basis.  I consider Clay Matthews and I actual friends).
However, I've noticed here and there some "de-friending" going on with me, and I won't say it doesn't make me wonder.  What did I do to be "de-friended"?  Did I post too often?  Were my rambling liberal views too much?  I am glad it hasn't happened in the hundreds, or I might be more concerned, lest I actually care.

However, 2 specific instances have left me wondering.  For one, a girl I was actual friends with in high school has defriended and re-requested me at least 3 times.  I didn't notice at first, and just had the thought, "oh, I thought we already were friends." accept.  "Oh, maybe when you get married you have to re-request everyone with your new name." accept.  NAY, now I am smarter and realized she must have commitment issues.  She has re-requested me 3 months ago, and is currently in facebook purgatory, as I just don't feel that I need to click accept quite yet.
The second instance is much less interesting, but is a matter of principle.  I noticed this guy had done some serious cleansing of his friends, so I truly wasn't offended that I didn't make the cut of his remaining 70 friends.  But the reality of it is - I think there should be precedence on facebook that if I there was ever genital to mouth contact between me and you in high school, the least you should do is let me be your facebook friend so I can creep on you anytime I want.  It's a matter of principle.

Pathetic excuse for a date

I admit, every once and awhile...

i.e. when my friends are gushing about their fantastic love lives, getting engaged, getting married, making little alien babies, and having more one night stands than Ashley furniture....

every once and awhile, I feel a little lonely.

Sometimes when this incredible bout of depression hits, I feel desperate. Enter: online dating. Best of all, I refuse to pay for this version of personal therapy, so I'm on a free site. Let's just say I will not commit to paying to go on a date because this way, I have better stories. Right? Right.

So recently, one of these little bouts of depression hit. Probably after being slighted numerous times when meeting groups of guys at the bar who would rather try to hook up with my obviously taken friends than the slutty, drunk version of me.

Anyhow, I agreed to meet this guy for happy hour in a public location so I would be heard if I screamed bloody murder. 7:30 happy hour???? Whatever, this guy doesn't have a clue about day drinking. So I agree for a Thursday night adventure. We agreed to this about a week and a half before the actual date. Then, out of nowhere he "deleted" his profile from the website - which meant I couldn't contact him to tell him it creeped me the fuck out or that I had other plans. Of course, I didn't have other plans, and my friends convinced me I should go because "what if he's the man of your dreams" or some other bullshit.

So I went, not remembering what he looked like (and not being able to do research since he deleted his profile), not having his phone number (because I have a strict "nobody gets in my phone before they get in my pants" rule), and pretty much a shitty attitude about the whole thing.

Showed up promptly at 7:20. Sat near the door until 7:30. Moved to the bar at 7:30, ordered a beer, and looked around, trying to see if there was a glimmer of recognition with any of the guys around. None. Paid for my tab at 7:40, left the bar at 7:45. I WAIT FOR NO ONE.

So yes, there you have it. I got fucking stood up by a guy whose name was "singing nerd", chose fucking Creed as his ultimate karaoke song, and was in a band that played at the Renaissance Festival. Never have I ever had such low self esteem.

And there you have it. Bitter with baggage seeks same.