Don't bite the hand that writes your letters of recommendation.

I work with college students who volunteer for TNPM.  Essentially, I am their advisor.  I write tons of letters of recommendation.  I get kids into law school, grad school, med school, get them scholarships, jobs, and new opportunities.  I am happy to do it.  I take my time, request resumes, statements of intent, and truly invest a few hours into the process.  I find it really gratifying to give back to students who give our organization so much of their time and talents.  On average, I write 50 a year.  I am sort of a content expert on the subject by now. With this, I provide a list of "how to get a good letter of recommendation" also know as "don't waste my fucking time":
1. Ask me in advance.
   - Everything should be to me at least 1 month in advance.  If you're giving me less than a month, I'm annoyed and will include my annoyance in your letter.
   - If I say no, you cannot be offended.  I either don't have time or I do not feel I could write you a positive letter of recommendation.  The latter is your fault.
2. Provide all the resources I need.
   - I shouldn't have to creep on your facebook to find out where you work.
3. Send me things in a concise manner.
   - If I receive 47 emails from each school you are attempting to get into (WOW how much did that cost you?), I expect a list of each school you need me to submit to.  If you expect me to monitor my inbox for these emails on a daily basis, you will get a shitty letter, as I am now completely annoyed with you.
5.  Reminders are ok.
   - I'm busy, you're busy, blah blah.  It's ok to send me a reminder, but do not send me a facebook message to check in on something you used my business email to communicate with me about.  At least pretend you are a professional.
4. Be grateful, you little shit.
   - This is not my job.  I do not get paid to write you these, and in fact, often do this on my own time.  At the very least, send me a damn thank you letter.  Hand written.  Even if you didn't get the job, scholarship, whatever.
   - Talk highly of our organization.  I'm giving you tools to be a successful human being, and when I see you giving public accolades to other (competing) organizations, I regret helping you.  Give us a fucking shout out too.

You're welcome. #leadershipdevelopment

Abandonment Issues

My co-worker BFF had her last day at our office today. Big ups to her, as she got her new job yesterday and decided today at noon would be her last day. Our manager makes her life pretty difficult at work, and I do not fault her in any way for leaving, even though she has an event on Friday. I would have done the exact same thing. She's smart in that she is taking her last two weeks as PTO so they don't tax the shit out of giving her back her PTO time earned.

However, I'm feeling abandoned. I really don't like a lot of the rest of my co-workers, and whenever I needed a good gossip session, she was always there.

It's not like she died or anything, but it still leaves me feeling alone.

All the more reason to get the F out of here.

The "come to Jesus" moment

Just returned from a fabulous week with 400 13-year olds in Michigan. Long story short - one of TNPM (refresher - The Non-Profit Man - in this case, Men) that I work for is a church. I took 6 kids from my youth group on a mission trip to repair houses. It was fabulous for the following reasons:
1. I got to take a week and a half off work from the other NPM!
2. I had my first 15 passenger van driving experience. Let's just say we all survived.
3. I really love doing things like fixing houses. Who knew I could be such a savant with a skillsaw and a chalkline?

It was mediocre for the following reasons:
1. I got stressed out about not being at the other NPM.
2. The other adult chaperones and youth leaders on the trip thought I was in high school for most of it and I even got yelled at a few times for driving the van. Because they thought I was a kid. (trust me, this does not make sense, I look 30 at 25.)
3. I had a "come to Jesus" moment. This is not really a religious thing - more of a "make it or break it", "fight or flight", "shit or get off the pot" kind of thing. It wasn't a specific moment, so much as today I looked back on the week and that I have to go back to real work tomorrow and I cried because I can't handle another 70 hour work week.

Basically, I've started to resent the full time NPM gig. I truly love the org I work for, but I am really dreading the rest of this summer.
I only do the church NPM work about 10 hours per week. I'm really not sure if I'm ready to leave the full time stuff, but I feel as though my ulcers and migraines are begging me to make a change. I really like what I do at the church, but not sure if I could do it full time.

So here I am in my "come to Jesus" moment. Time for some decision making. Can someone please be in charge of my life decisions for a bit? A "life leash" if you will?

Fur... LOW.

I have a 12 hour rule with work. If I get home at 10 pm, I am not allowed to be back to the office until after 10 am.

Guess how often I follow my own rule.

Let's just also be aware that TNPM has no written policy on "flex time" (as most companies don't - real world folks.) However, I will complain for just a minute... My average work day is 14 hours long. 4 days a week (Fridays are usually the typical 8 hours, unless I have an event - i.e. 26 hours). Not to mention my second job, where I generally do 10 hours on Saturday and/or Sunday, but that doesn't count.


So TNPM has instituted 4 furlough days this year. I totally get it. I would much rather have 4 unpaid days than to see any of my coworkers (or me, yikes) laid off. The problem is, when you work for an entity such as TNPM, a day without working or getting paid for it pretty much sets you back a day, and you wind up working those 8 hours in somewhere else because shit's gotta get done, but not getting paid because you're on salary. And like I'm really going to tell my volunteer who calls my cell phone at 9 am that I am on furlough and can't talk because I'm not getting paid. F that noise.

However, this weekend, I will not be answering phone calls from volunteers. NAY - the Brewers are in town and my folks are visiting for the game! I fully intend on showing them the awesomeness that is the MSP. Sans life-interrupting phone calls.

Ah yes, and I survived the big 2-5. I also kept my dignity, which is huge these days.

Hard work does pay off!

I had a big fundraising event this weekend. I mean BIG. I'm in charge of raising $1/2 million, and this event was goaled to raise $176,000. Needless to say, the volunteers I work with are AWESOME. We've been working our butts off since September to pull it off, and it was hugely successful - $191,000 and counting.

Looking back, having a meeting every single Sunday night, getting phone calls and text messages on Tuesday nights at 10 pm from volunteers, or having printing requests on Saturday nights at 7 - it could frustrate a girl. However, honestly I would bend over backwards for these kids because they make my job so much easier.

My co-workers don't let me forget that this event is, year after year, incredibly successful. Not necessarily in a congratulatory way, but in an "I can't believe your volunteers are so great and you must not do anything" kind of way. It pisses me off, especially knowing that I've literally given up every single Sunday during their Spring semester, sans Easter, to have a meeting. And that I had to up my text messages because thats how "kids" communicate.

PS these "kids" are in college - but they're kids to me because I've known so many of them since they were freshmen. And they're graduating this year. Talk about making a girl feel old.

Anyhow, I'm feeling contemplative about the rest of my events sucking balls. Wish some of these kids would graduate and move to middle of nowhere Minnesota to help me out there.

Just keep swimming...

Or running, or staying awake and not falling asleep at your desk because you've worked 3 - 16 hour days in a row and are so distracted by work that you fall asleep thinking about it, dream about it, wake up thinking about it, and think about it in the shower to the point of being so distracted you wash your hair twice because you can't remember if you already washed it.

I've decided to take control. I'm going to get back into reading trashy romance novels before bed so that, at the very least, my dreams can still be my own. And Lucky Stetson, the Texan who will be visiting my dreams after I'm done with the next book.

So far its working really well. My blood pressure is down, I don't want to kill my boss, I don't care that my cubicle is outrageously messy, and I am not grinding my teeth in my sleep.

Let's hope it keeps up through the busy summer of work.

Frustration Destination and a sad day on TMZ.com

Welp. Another day, another dollar... but ten times worse this week.

THANK GOD for MLK Day. A wonderful holiday, agreed - however I desperately needed the day off work (sidenote: not only is it the government and education system that has a holiday this day, but also non-profits!) before I had a meltdown and took someone's life or severely mutilated myself. (another sidenote: clearly, homicide and suicide are serious issues in today's society. however, this is not a joke, I was at my cusp of crazy.)

So back to work, and today was the first day within my wonderful organization that I have felt completely disposable. Backtrack: a crazy volunteer said this exact phrase to me last week: "And fuck you for not having the materials I needed!" When I spoke with my manager and director regarding this, the response went something like this...

Me: I'm not sure what to do, this is a pretty big account that I think I'm going to lose because this volunteer is crazy.
Manager: We will figure it out. It will definitely hurt you, but that's not something you need to deal with.
Director: Well, you really just need to suck up to her and make sure she still contributes. Granted, she was out of line in saying that, but we can't lose those dollars.

I was floored. In what realm of reality is it okay for a VOLUNTEER to get away with saying that to someone, then for my management team to basically say that it is okay for her to say this because we see money over the sanity of staff?

Maybe I'm crazy. But now I'm just sad. I guess I got into the "real world" post-college and expected a little bit of professionalism and concern for employees. And alas, I have been employed there for nearly 8 months and today was the first time I felt replaceable.
However, the real news today is the tragic death of Hollywood Hottie Heath Ledger. Extremely sad, and the hype around his death is even sadder. The sensationalism of it is just ridiculous - I mean come on! He has a little daughter, his family doesn't need to be hearing the rumors that he showed up in Mary-Kate Olson's apartment, or that Lohan is "distraught". The American public does not need to know this shit either - let's just let his family and loved ones grieve, then TMZ.com can fill us in on the ridiculous details later.

Secrest OUT,
Paula

Another day, another dollar

Seems like this might be a monthly thing. I can dig it. Currently: Sitting at the Champlin library, having an "open house" for my volunteers, hoping and praying somebody shows up because I'm getting lonely and still have another hour and a half here. Also, hoping Hammer can bail me out of a dead battery when I get back to the office because the White Stallion wouldn't turn her engine when I was trying to leave for this meeting.
In my head: Tag Team, back again check it top wreck it now let's begin, come on party people let me hear some noise, DC's in the house jump jump and rejoice.
Unfortunate when a really bad hip-hop song gets stuck.

On my mind: World Series of Pop Culture 3. A co-worker, my fabulous hetero-lifemate, and I have been seriously considering auditioning. With my unbeatable knowledge of lyrics, Mel "full of nuggets of wisdom surrounding movies and TV" co-worker on all things quoteable, and Cass "In a committed relationship with her pillow" hetero-lifemate on absolute cavern of useless knowledge of Hollywood and US Weekly, this trio could be unstoppable!

However, no good plan goes without far too much consideration on my end. What if, perchance, I were the weakest link? WHAT IF I got out in the first round? WHAT IF I SUCKED??
I simply could not face my teammates and have thusly decided to drop out of considering thinking about applying for the World Series of Pop Culture.

However, that won't stop me from filling out the 2007 application (2008 has not yet arrived, in stores soon!) Read on:

THE WORLD SERIES OF POP CULTURE 2007 CONTESTANT APPLICATION

NAME: Paula Rubinowitz
AGE: 23
BIRTHDATE: 5/14/fuckitty4
COLLEGE ATTENDED/ING: University of Hard Knocksville
COLLEGE MAJOR: Recreational Leisure
MARITAL STATUS: am I on a dating game show? NO- then you don't need to know how single and lonely I am.
OCCUPATION: bitch for The non-profit Man
DESCRIBE YOUR JOB – I sing karaoke at the Vegas Lounge

DESCRIBE HOW YOU KNOW EACH OF YOUR TEAMMATES AND HOW THE THREE OF YOU DECIDED TO FORM A TEAM FOR THIS COMPETITION. I work with one, I live with another, I tolerate both. We decided to form a team based on our soul purpose in life being to memorize useless trivia and spew it forth, smashing the hopes and dreams of all those hopefuls who dare go up against us.

WHAT ARE 3 REASONS YOUR TEAM WANTS TO (OR SHOULD BE) A PART OF THIS COMPETITION?
1. Two of my teammates have never met and I feel would likely have a cat fight on stage.
2. Our 3-woman show "Abortion!" just isn't panning out as we had hoped.
3. All 3 of us are in default on college loans. We can have them deferred if we're on the show.


YOUR TEAM DYNAMIC? Yes, we are very dynamic.

YOUR OCCUPATION OR HOBBIES? Mostly working on my hobbies.

WHAT POP CULTURE ICON(S) DO YOU IDENTIFY WITH MOST? The entire cast of Jem, but not Jerrica. Stuck-up bitch.

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST TV MEMORY FROM CHILDHOOD? Not having cable until the early 90's and finding my parents porn when I was trying to watch a Rainbow Brite tape.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH THE MONEY IF YOU WON THE WORLD SERIES OF POP CULTURE? Buy a frizillion shoes and make 1 payment on my college loan.

WHERE DOES THE MONEY RANK IN THE REASONS FOR ENTERING THIS COMPETITION? Number 2, right behind pride.

HOW WOULD YOUR TEAMMATES BEST DESCRIBE YOU? Busty and bitchy

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE EACH OF THEM? One is pretty busty, both are kind of bitchy.

WHAT IS ONE FLAW YOUR TEAM HAS; SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU NERVOUS IF YOUR TEAM WERE TO QUALIFY FOR THE WORLD SERIES OF POP CULTURE? Our strong suit has nothing to do with the Disney Channel.

WHAT TOPIC / CATEGORY WOULD SHOCK YOU IF YOU MISSED QUESTIONS? (ie; 80s MOVIES? RAP LYRICS?) EXPLAIN WHY. I would be shocked if I missed a question on comic books, because I would be shocked that I made it that far in the competition for the "far reaching" categories.


ARE YOU AVAILABLE WEDNESDAY MARCH 21- SUNDAY MARCH 25, 2007 TO BE FLOWN TO NYC FOR THE WORLD SERIES OF POP CULTURE TOURNAMENT? Sadly, I just checked my calendar and I ha(d)ve a meeting.

Good thing I have all these answers prepared for the 2008 application.